“WHO IS IN THE LOFT?”
“From the point of view of a criminal investigator, wonderland has never been an interesting place since the death of its criminal called Alice,” said Moses.
“Nobody in the town would agree with You, Moses”.
“You see”, Moses said, “Since the death of Alice, it’s the town people gaining from it. But investigators are not. Look, no job anymore. But if this fellow was out there, someone, investigator, would be confident that a person out there would report her upon seeing her following people, and people would be hired to work or investigate”.
Moses had been without job for three months, but recently he had just returned back home from where I had sent him to sell my house. We stay together as roommates. As Moses had just finished protesting about no job available, he lay back on his chair and grabbed his newspaper.
Suddenly, I heard heavy footsteps outside as if there was somebody being chased around the house. Then a loud knock on our home door. I excused myself from Moses and made the door ajar. In walked a female young rabbit forcibly panting as if she had been running the whole day.
She sat on a chair which was between Moses and I. “I am sorry Moses”, she said, “My name is Bareea”.
“What is the problem”, Moses asked her.
“You mean you know nothing of me being wanted by police?” she asked Moses. He instead removed his dark eye glass from his eye“
“Well, police wants to arrest me for a murder. Mr. White rabbit was murdered. I am being trailed as a suspect”, she said. She grabbed a newspaper from Moses lap and flipped through till in middle of the paper.
“If you haven’t heard about the actual story of the murder, hear this paragraph. The title is the death of Mr. White rabbit. He died in his house being set on fire. And some papers were found in his house belonging to me”.
“It is this tip that people who are trailing me are basing on to arrest me”, she said, “Please if police come to arrest me before I tell you the true whole story or what a fake news is not, allow me to first tell you everything so that when they take me to jail, I know you are out there fighting for me because I am innocent”.
Moses ordered me to grab the paper and read where she had read after her mercy plead. I read the paper: “Mr. White rabbit was someone who was famous in wonderland for his unique ability of always being in a hurry in whatever he did. This man was killed and burnt in his house. The suspect’s papers and signatures were found in the house. Before the victim died, he had gone to a lawyer to secure documents so that the lawyer can become the heir of his property if he died. The lawyer was Bareea and is the main suspect.”
As soon as I had finished reading, I heard a police car siren outside. Looking outside throw open window, four police men could be seen stepping out of their car in the compound. One of the them wearing a read cap like that of army.
Knowing that there is somebody in the house, I invited the red cap man inside. The respect Moses displayed while greeting the red cap man, signalled to me that he was the leader of the police men who were outside.
Bareea had vanished from her sit. My heart stopped pumping when she emerged from the toilet. The police man’s mouth went ajar upon seeing her: “We are looking for this follow”.
“Madam Bareea you are under arrest for murder. She began shivering as if under fever. The police man shouted for his officers outside to come in. She was handcuffed her with their belts.
As the police carried her out of the house, Moses stood up from his chair. He ordered to have a word with her. “Is there anything you would like to tell me before you thrown behind bars?”, Moses asked her.
“I did not commit this crime”, she said, “The day the deceased came to my office, me being his heir of his property was what he wanted. My eyes bulged, but I secured the papers. I went to his house for some practical examination of the property before documentation. My red forearm crutches were in my house, but after property examination he begged to stay with me for some days in my house.
“How came that you haven’t been arrested for so long”, Moses asked her.
“Before I answer you, please do not tell my mum about my arrest as she would feel bad”. It looks like police might have come to my house and I was not there. Since the deceased moved in, I decided to stay in a hotel close to my office. And it is where I learned about the murder.”
“I have enough evidence that this is the killer. Everything points at her”, the police leader said after her speech.
“I think you might have a wrong person or right person, but the mother might hold some crucial information related to this case”, Moses said.
“If you think so then find your right person or information but this one will be in our jail”, the police leader said, “Every time you challenge us, late me see if your evidence defeats ours. What type of man can’t believe this. It is obvious she killed him because she knew the moment the man died she would be the heir immediately”, the police leader said.
The day after the Bareea was taken away, Moses visited the mother. He was concerned why her mother shouldn’t be told of her arrest. The visit revealed that the deceased and the mother were once in a relationship. But they broke up the lady citing the deceased was always in a hurry in love.
The police leader was not happy about him visiting the woman before first visiting the deceased house. The day after visit, he analysed all his information including also calling the lady later to ask her about Bareea. It was revealed that she produced Bareea from another man.
During lunch time, he ensued to wash and visit the scene of the deceased for more information. He had a pool around his house. He walked over to wash, but to his surprise he found his birds, cats and ducks and mouse swimming. When they saw him they began to swim out of the water to the shore.
But when the cat reached the shore, it urinated and its urine run back in the pool. Moses knew immediately that the pool would taste salty. He abandoned washing and decided to go for his investigation after he was hired by the police headquarters confirm if Bareea was the real culprit. At the crime scene of the deceased, the house was not burnt down, but it was the inside. The fire was made and some meat were burned in the fire set inside.
Moses was so surprised to find another second red forearm crutch of Bareea at the scene inside the house. This forearm crutch was not there previously he visited the scene. This disturbed Moses so much and concluded that there is another suspect at large.
He walked around the house and then walked back in the house. He toured all corners of the house. He looked at the loft also.
He was confident that there was another suspect but how to get hold of the suspect was another puzzle, and it required some advanced intellect.
He ordered me to call four police officers with good vocal sound. When they came, he encouraged them to grab some firewood outside and they bring with them to the inside of the house. He removed a pen match from his black coat and lit a fire below the loft. After that, he told the men to shout “fire” four times so louder.
When they finished, the wall of the loft began breaking open. This happened minute by minute. They watched. Somebody from the loft fell down like a luggage. The person was no different from the decreased. He was white rabbit wearing a waistcoat with the photo where he was with his wife. He attempted to cross the floor in a hurry, but Moses ordered his men to follow him and arrest him immediately.
H was put under the house arrest, but later was taken to court and Bareea was released. The white rabbit before the judge said that he was unhappy about the relationship brake up. He decided to revenge against Bareea’s mother by masterminding a plot where Bareea could be arrested.
The white rabbit was jailed for some good years.
COMMENTARY: MY EXPLANANTION ABOUT MY FANFICTION IS AS FOLLOW:
My fanfiction titled “WHO IS IN THE LOFT?” used some of the Vogler’s archetypes and mythic structure for writers (Vogler, 1949).
The ordinary world: Here the hero is out of the ordinary, mundane world and into a Special World, new and alien. It is like taking the “fish out of water” idea. The hero is presented with a problem, challenge, or adventure to undertake. Once presented with a Call to Adventure, she can no longer remain indefinitely in the comfort of the Ordinary World.
If you’re going to show a fish out of his customary element, you first have to show him in that Ordinary World to create a vivid contrast with the strange new world he is about to enter.
In this case, there may be a need of the hero, as in the story “WHO IS IN THE LOFT”. Moses could be seen in his ordinary world. He claims that he no longer have a job due to a criminal of wonderland being killed. Suddenly as he is with his friend on a breakfast table, a noise brakes out.
CROSSING THE FIRST THRESHOLD: Here the hero fully enters the Special World of the story for the first time by crossing the First Threshold. He agrees to face the challenges posed in the Call to Adventure.
Eg In “WHO IS IN THE LOFT” story, when the door is opened by Moses friend, a Bareea, unknown person in police before comes in. it was her making noise. She says the reason for coming to police station.
Moses began his investigation or CROSSING THE FIRST THRESHOLD by visiting Bareea’s mother. From this visit, Moses learned that white rabbit and the mother of Bareea were once in a relationship etc.
REWARD (SEIZING THE SWORD): The hero takes possession of the treasure she or he has come seeking, her Reward. It might be a special weapon like a magic sword, or a token like the Grail or some elixir which can heal the wounded land.
Eg Moses succeeded to get the real monster behind Bareea’s causes of arrest. And this made her to be released (please see WHO IS IN THE LOFT” story.)
Hero: A Hero is someone who is willing to sacrifice his own needs on behalf of others, like a shepherd who will sacrifice to protect and serve his flock.
Eg. Moses is a hero. He risked and made the fire in the house. This means whatever happened, for instance if the house banned, he was to be held accountable, and it appeared that he was ready for this.
DEALING WITH DEATH: True heroism is shown in stories when Heroes offer themselves on the altar of chance, willing to take the risk that their quest for adventure may lead to danger, loss, or death.
Eg Moses might have known that his discoveries in investigation may lead him know where and the police leader who wore a red cap of army may win. But Moses risked tofind more, but at the end we know Moses emerged as a hero because he proved this police man wrong
HERALD: A herald can be a villain or emissary, issuing a direct challenge (whether positive or negative) to the hero, or trying to dupe the hero into getting involved.
Eg The police man leader challenges Moses that there is no evidence available than this. This makes Moses to prove that the police man is wrong.
Threshold Guardian: Refers to what tries to blocks a hero on their way. They may pop up to block the way and test the hero at any point in a story, but they tend to cluster around the doorways, gates, and narrow passages of threshold crossings.
Eg the story above, “WHO IS IN THE LOFT?”, there is a police leader who appears to be aggressive to Moses for not heading to all evidence pointing that Bareea is a culprit.
Shadow: rejected aspects of something. The function of the Shadow in drama is to challenge the hero and give her a worthy opponent in the struggle. Shadows create conflict and bring out the best in a hero by putting her in a life-threatening situation.
Eg. The police man in the above story believes the evidence available from the news are enough to throw Bareea behind bars, but Moses believes there is another said rejected.
Allies, allies, enemies: Allies – sometimes a hero may need someone to work with on a journey or serve a variety of necessary functions, such as companion, sparring partner, conscience. It’s convenient to have someone for the hero to talk to, to bring out human feelings or reveal important questions in the plot.
Eg. Moses has a friend who they work with and the story makes it clear that Moses used his friend to call strong vocal men.
The Tricksters: of mythology provide many examples of the workings of this archetype. One of the most colorful is Loki, the Norse god of trickery and deceit. A true Trickster, he serves the other gods as legal counsellor and advisor, but also plots their destruction, undermining the status quo.
Eg White rabbit is trickster. He shows that he wants Bareea to be his heir but indirectly plotting to police to arrest her.
Vogler, . C. (1949). The writer’s journey: mythic structure for writers. Michael Wiese Productions. Retrieved from http://craftywriters.club/reading/christopher-vogler-the-writers-journey.pdf